Forget What You Eat—You Are What You Think!

In part 1 and part 2, I discussed why it’s important to change the way you think and also why you shouldn’t assume that every thought that pops into your head is true. Today, I’m going to delve into different methods you can use to start changing your thoughts or the limiting (core) beliefs that keep you from getting to where you want to be. As a refresher, negative thoughts lead to negative feelings which lead to negative behavior.

In case you haven’t read my other two posts (although you really should 🙂) limiting (core) beliefs are absolutes that you believe and live by but that also keep you from progressing and/or accomplishing your goals. Here are some limiting beliefs you may have right now!

I am not good/smart/competent enough
I am too old/young
Bad things always happen to me
Nobody likes me
This is too hard/difficult
I will never get into a relationship/find love
The world is a dangerous place to me
I will always feel depressed/anxious/angry
My life is hopeless
People always take advantage of me
I am a failure
This is too overwhelming

Think of your thoughts as gears in a car. Now, read this next sentence out loud:

EVERY SINGLE TIME I have a limiting belief/thought I am hitting the brakes on MYSELF, MY GROWTH, MY SUCCESS.

Why? Because oftentimes you spend a whole lot of time talking about how others hold you back but refuse to see how YOU hold yourself back. If you haven’t already you need to start evaluating how you may be doing this…

Now you may be thinking that therapy and coaching are one and the same.

WRONG.

Therapy and coaching are two completely different things. Check out some of the differences below as well as recommendations for when you should choose a coach versus a therapist.

Regulations

I want to make this part crystal clear. In order to become a therapist there are significantly more academic requirements and regulations in place to ensure that you are competent and qualified to provide services. There are also licensing boards to provide disciplinary actions if/when necessary.

Many schools/states require that therapists successfully complete an internship (& postdoc at the doctoral level) and amass over 4,000 hours of hands on clinical work. In addition, you often have to complete a clinical competency exam, a dissertation/directed study, and pass the state licensure exam.

In contrast, while there is a recent push to try to provide structured courses, programs, and/or certifications/licenses for coaching, virtually any person can call themselves a coach. If they enjoy giving advice or frequently get feedback that their advice is helpful, they can start a coaching company/practice with relatively little oversight.

Before you choose a coach make sure that they are qualified to give you the advice they are giving.

While many therapists accept insurance which will cover the cost of your therapy sessions, coaches accept self-pay clients.

REMEMBER: The only thing worse than losing money is paying for something and getting ZERO in return.

CHOOSE WISELY…

Diagnosing/Treating Mental Conditions

Are you struggling with mental health symptoms? Are you unsure of your diagnosis? Then you want to see a therapist. A therapist uses their knowledge of psychological theories to diagnose your condition as well as provide strategies that can be used to help you manage, decrease, or eliminate your symptoms altogether. So for example, if you are struggling with:

Depression (sad mood, appetite/weight changes, insomnia/hypersomnia, fatigue, lack of energy, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, suicidal thoughts, restlessness or lethargy)
Anxiety (constant worrying, heart racing, hyperventilating, lightheadedness, dizziness, sweating, clammy hands, muscle tension, irritability, etc.)
Trauma (hypervigilance, flashbacks, nightmares, low mood, avoidance, dissociation, etc.)
Bipolar (mood swings, depression, manic/hypomanic episodes, impulsivity, suicidal ideation, etc.)
Schizophrenia (hallucinations, paranoia, delusions of reference, flat affect, etc.)
ANY personality disorder (e.g., narcissistic, antisocial, dependent, avoidant, borderline, etc.)

You should seek a therapist.

Trauma

It is a sad fact that there are so many people today who have experience with one kind of abuse or another — whether physical abuse, psychological abuse/neglect, or sexual abuse. If you have never discussed your trauma with a clinician, then it is probably unprocessed and wreaking havoc on your life ⎼ one way or another.

Maybe you’re hooked on substances (e.g., cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, opiates, etc.). Maybe you keep getting into abusive relationships. Maybe you completely stay away from relationships and have convinced yourself you’re happier that way. Unprocessed trauma leads us to be stuck.

While a good, competent coach will enable you to tackle current limiting beliefs that negatively impact you, therapy is the most comprehensive method to address your trauma. A good therapist will help you to process your trauma, re-write your narrative in a way that empowers rather than victimizes you, and heal from the past that is keeping you stuck in the present. So in the case of trauma, I would recommend seeing a therapist first for the heavy work and then transitioning to a coach after if or when you have processed your trauma.

Focus

Given the nature of mental health disorders and conditions, it is occasionally helpful for you to connect the dots between the issues in your past and your current symptoms/presentation. While therapy can cover your entire lifetime ⎼ past, present, and your future ⎼ coaching is often “forward-focused” meaning that it is more concerned with the present changes that you can make to achieve your goals. If you want to process how your childhood neglect led to your depression and substance use, then therapy is the way to go. If however, you are trying to tackle the current limiting beliefs (e.g., I am powerless) that keep you using negative coping strategies to address your issues, then coaching is an equally valid way to go.

Goals

The good news is that both therapists AND coaches can help you tackle your goals. So, one of the main questions you should ask yourself is ‘WHAT goal(s) am I trying to reach?’ Once you’ve answered that question, then you will be able to identify who you should go to. Is your goal to finally get a diagnosis to explain the issues/problems that have been affecting you and keeping you from progressing in life? See a therapist. Is your goal to be successful in business and learn strategies to boost your confidence/marketing skills? See a coach. Is your goal to process unresolved traumas/past hurts? See a therapist? Is your goal to focus on current issues that you need to change to see improvements in your life? See a coach.

In all, both therapy and coaching can be incredibly useful in terms of helping you to identify problem areas and develop the best strategies or treatment plans to help you move forward. If you can’t afford to pay for your treatment out of pocket, then you may want to a) see if your insurance plan covers all or some of your mental health services, or b) see if your insurance includes out-of-network benefits. Remember that you will always sacrifice and invest in the things/people that are important to you. Make sure that you are one of those people.

What would you add to the discussion on the difference between therapy and coaching? What limiting beliefs do you have that you need to dispose of?

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drDyona