I said in my previous post that “The hungrier you are, the more likely you will be to accept “crumbs” or “trash” in your life. You figure that is better than nothing.” So many of us have been “fasting” and never even noticed it. We haven’t had our basic emotional/psychological needs met for days, weeks, months, even YEARS.
I’m going to ask you to do something right now. Are you ready? Let’s get REAL. Or, if you can’t be real with me, at least be real with yourself. Ask yourself, “What am I lacking that has affected (and is still affecting) my decision making?”
Is it that you want or need to feel:
- Desired? Loved?
- Validated? Affirmed?
- Respected? Confident?
- Successful? Wealthy?
- Worthy? Valued?
- A sense of commitment?
- A sense of (physical, financial, or emotional) security?
- Like you belong? Like you’re missed? Like you’ve been chosen above all others?
Think about it. What were you missing growing up? Were your parents always critical of you? Never received any constructive feedback?
Imagine if you were you always craving validation of yourself or feelings but never received it? Chances are one of your primary love languages would be words of affirmation. Why? Because this area of lack for you may lead you to constantly look for that thing (e.g., validation, affirmation, compliments, etc.) you never received growing up..
Remember, until you can figure out what you’re missing, you will never be able to figure out where you’re going wrong in your decision-making. Never!
Whatever you haven’t been getting all of your life will be kryptonite to you.
When a special someone, a job offer, or an opportunity promises to give you one or even some of these things you will get sucked in—-FAST. You will accept crumbs over and over and over and over and—you get the point!
Now does this mean our emotional needs are bad or need to be suppressed? Heck no! The key is to ensure that your emotional needs are being met in healthy and legitimate ways prior to making decisions or getting into any kind of relationship or arrangement. This is just one way to protect yourself from getting into unhealthy situations in the future.
In what way has your lack amplified your desire for something that isn’t the best for you? Comment below and let me know what you think!
